8/6/12 10:07pm

So, I happen to be a very pessimistic person when it comes to my self image. In my eyes, I see double digit sizes as huge. However, on anyone else, I think it’s just fine. Well I’m 5’8, and I’m somewhere around 170-180. I hate my body, and I feel humongous. I had only been double digits once before…& that was in 7th grade. After finding that out, I swore to lose weight. What I did to lose weight, however, was extreme. I practically stopped eating. All I was eating was celery and water. I would exercise all day, and I was finally happy with myself. I weighed 128.5 pounds, and I was a size 3. I felt gorgeous! Then one fateful day right before high school..my aunt waved a cheeseburger in my face until I ate it. So delicious, and it destroyed my eating habits. All I’ve eaten for the past 3-4 years is crap, but it was so delicious. Now I’m going to be back on a diet, and I’m going to follow it to a T. Even exercise (which I believe that exercise is the worst thing in the world. It doesn’t make me feel good at all). Now the moral of the story, I absolutely spite everyone with a great metabolism. I see girls eating twice as much as I do (all very unhealthy food), yet they get to be thin as a board! Whereas I will always have to watch what I eat, and I will always have to watch what I eat. If I cheat even a little, it ruins everything. I can’t afford that again. The worst of it is that almost all of my friends are naturally super skinny, and they come to me complaining about how fat they are…those people piss me the fuck off. These are people who barely break 100 pounds, yet they think they’re fat! I’m pretty damn close to 200 pounds. The worst was my best friend who always told me “You don’t understand what it’s like to look in the mirror, hate yourself, and cry all the time because you’re so fat”..this girl wasn’t even close to fat. That stuff pisses me off. I’ve hated myself since the day I started school. People have spent all their time trying to make me miserable. Well guess what, now I’m a psychological mess. (That is for another day) Anyways, if you are someone who is naturally thin, I hope you’re not always complaining about being fat. If you are, I will personally come punch you because I’d gladly trade you! To those of you who aren’t huge, but naturally don’t have a great metabolism, I totally understand you, and to those plus sized gals, you’re also beautiful. Even though I don’t want to be plus sized, there is nothing wrong with it, and I apologize if this has offended you at all. However, no matter what your natural size is, we all need to maintain our health. Everybody (yes EVERYBODY) needs a healthy diet and exercise regimen. Just because you’re naturally thin doesn’t mean your healthy, and just because you’re naturally plus sized doesn’t mean that you’re unhealthy. What makes someone unhealthy is when everything they eat has no real nutritional value. I’m going to be on a diet from now on…seeing as I don’t want to be as huge as I feel. By the way, all you naturally thin girls who eat nothing but hot cheetos and ice cream, your metabolism will fade when you turn 30. Well thanks for reading…I’ll post more eventually.